Soprano Jokes:
- If you threw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the
ground first? (two answers)
-
- The violist. The soprano would have to stop halfway down to ask
directions.
- Who cares?
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- What's the difference between a soprano and a terrorist?
- You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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- What's the difference between a soprano and a
piranha?
- The lipstick.
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- What's the difference between a soprano and a pit bull?
- The jewelry.
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- How many sopranos does it take to change a
light bulb?
-
- One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
- Two. One to hold the
diet cola and the other to get her accompanist to do it.
- Four. One to change the bulb and three to pull the chair out from under
her.
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- What's the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and the average All-Pro
offensive lineman?
- Stage makeup.
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- What's the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?
- About 10 pounds.
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- How is a soubrette different from a sewer rat?
- Some people actually like sewer rats.
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- What is the difference between a soubrette and a cobra?
- One is deadly poisonous, and the other is a reptile.
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- How do you tell if a Wagnerian soprano is dead?
- The horses seem very relieved.
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- What's the first thing a soprano does in the morning?
- Puts on her clothes and goes home.
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- What's the next thing a soprano does in the morning?
- Looks for her instrument.
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- What's the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?
- Most musicians have never been in a Porsche.
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- What's the definition of an alto?
- A soprano who can sight-read.
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A jazz musician dies and goes to heaven. He is told "Hey man, welcome! You
have been elected to the Jazz All-Stars of Heaven--right up there with Satchmo,
Miles, Django, all the greats. We have a gig tonight. Only one problem--God's
girlfriend gets to sing."
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