Misc Jazz Jokes / Folk Jokes / Country Jokes /
Blues Jokes | Popular Jokes
- Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
- To get away from the noise.
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- What's the difference between an Appalachian dulcimer and a hammered
dulcimer?
- A hammered dulcimer burns hotter; an Appalachian dulcimer burns longer.
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- How many country & western singers does it take to change a light bulb?
- Three. One to change the bulb and two to sing about the old one.
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- What happens if you play blues music backwards?
- Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of
prison.
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- What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
- New Age music.
- What does it say on a blues singer's tombstone?
- "I didn't wake up this morning..."
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- "Hey, buddy, how late do the filkers play?"
- "Oh, about half a beat behind..."
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- What's the difference between a puppy and a singer-songwriter?
- Eventually the puppy stops whining.
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- How many sound men does it take to change a light bulb?
-
- "One, two, three, one, two, three..."
- "Hey man, I just do sound."
- One. Upon finding no replacement, he takes the original apart, repairs
it with a chewing gum wrapper and duct tape, changes the screw mount to
bayonet mount, finds an appropriate patch cable, and re-installs the bulb
fifty feet from where it should have been, to the satisfaction of the rest
of the band.
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- How many Deadheads does it take to change a
light bulb?
- 12,001. One to change it, 2,000 to record the event and take pictures of
it, and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out.
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- How many punk-rock musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
- Two: One to screw in the bulb and the other to smash the old one on his
forehead.
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- Know how to make a million dollars singing jazz?
- Start with two million.
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- How many jazz musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
-
- None. Jazz musicians can't afford light bulbs.
- "Don't worry about the changes. We'll fake it!"
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- How do you turn a duck into a soul artist?
- Put it in the oven until its (it's) Bill Withers.
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Micheal Caine goes up to Milton Berle during a party and asks, "What kind of
cigar are you smoking there?"
"It's a Lawrence Welk." says Milton.
"What's a Lawrence Welk?" Micheal asks.
Milton says "It's a piece of crap with a band wrapped around it."
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Angus was asked why there were drones on the bagpipe when they make such a
distressing sound. He answered, "Without the drones, I might as well be playing
the piano."
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Two musicians are driving down a road. All of a sudden they notice the Grim
Reaper in the back seat. Death informs them that they had an accident and they
both died. But, before he must take them off into eternity, he grants each
musician with one last request to remind them of their past life on earth. The
first musician says he was a Country & Western musician and would like to hear
eight choruses of Achy-Breaky Heart as a last hoorah! The second
musician says "I was a jazz musician...kill me now!"
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I was playing in a night club, and getting few requests and small tips.
Towards the end of the night, a man walked up with a wad of bills in his hand
and asked me to play a jazz chord. I played an Amaj7.
He said, "No, no. A jazz chord."
I did a little improvisational thing, but he didn't like that either.
"No, no, no! A jazz chord. You know, 'A jazz chord, to say, ah love you.'"
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Son: Mother, I want to grow up and be a rock-n-roll musician.
Mother: Now son, you have to pick one or the other. You can't do both.
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A Jazz musician was told by his doctor, "I am very sorry to tell you that you
have cancer and you have only one more year to live."
The Jazz musician replied, "And what am I going to live on for an entire
year?"
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