Instrument Jokes

Strings

• Violin Jokes
• Viola Jokes 1/2/3
• 'Cello Jokes
• Bass Jokes
• Harp Jokes
• Piano Jokes
• Organ Jokes

Woodwinds

• Flute/Piccolo Jokes
• Oboe/Bassoon Jokes
• Clarinet Jokes
• Saxophone Jokes

Brass

• Trumpet Jokes
• Trombone Jokes
• French Horn Jokes
• Tuba Jokes

Percussion

• Percussionist Jokes
• Bodhran Jokes

Vocal

• Suprano Jokes
• Tenor Jokes

Folk/Rock/Popular Music
and Instruments

• Guitar Jokes
• Accordion Jokes
• Chang Jokes
• Folk/Rock/Popular

General

• Conductor Jokes
• Musician Jokes
• Variations on a Theme

Alto | Bodhran | Double Reed | High School | Lute | Jazz |
The Worlds Best Instrument Jokes
 

Guitar Jokes What does it mean when a guitar player is drooling out both sides of his mouth? The stage is level. ********************* How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb? Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better. ********************* How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Give him some sheet music. ********************* What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common. Both suck when you plug them in. ********************* How do you make a bass player turn down the volume? Put a chart in front of him. ********************* How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? None--they just steal somebody else's light. ********************* What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? Counterpoint. ********************* What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on? He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it. ********************* What's the best thing to play on a guitar? Solitaire. ********************* How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand. Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice. One, but the guitarist has to show him first. Six: one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light. ********************* In the 22th century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source? Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were. ********************* Did you hear about the electric bass player who was so bad that even the lead singer noticed?