French Horn Jokes
- How do you get your viola section to sound like the horn section?
- Have them miss every other note.
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- How can you make a trombone sound like a
French horn?
- Stick your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.
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- What is the difference between a French horn section and a '57 Chevy?
- You can tune a '57 Chevy.
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- What do you get when you cross a French Horn player and a goalpost?
- A goalpost that can't march.
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- How many French horn players does it take to change a
light bulb?
- Just one, but he'll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and
leaks.
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- Why is the French horn a divine instrument?
- Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out of it.
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- How do horn players traditionally greet each other?
-
- "Hi. I played that last year."
- "Hi. I did that piece in junior high."
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A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her
roommate asked, "Well, how was it? Did his embouchure make him a great kisser?"
"Nah," the first girl replied. "That dry, tight, tiny little pucker; it was
no fun at all."
The next night she went out with a tuba player, and when she came back her
roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?"
"Ugh!" the first girl exclaimed. "Those huge, rubbery, blubbery, slobbering
slabs of meat; oh, it was just gross!"
The next night she went out with a French horn player, and when she came back
her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?"
"Well," the first girl replied, "his kissing was just so-so; but I loved
the way he held me!"
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